You’ve probably heard it before: “The job search is the hardest job you will ever have.” Well, I don’t think I believe that but the job search sure can be frustrating. As a small reprieve after spending a Saturday morning applying to a job or two I jokingly told someone I should give myself a new title: Job Application Specialist. Maybe I could add it to my resume. From their I made a short, comedic job description. Once I started free-writing I could not stop – I wrote a complete satirical job application. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
An Underemployed Graduate
555.555.5555 | firstname.lastname@example.org | tiredofapplications.wordpress.com
Goal: To get a job, stop destroying my life savings, and cut down on the amount of time
spent drowning my sorrows in cheap wine and crappy homemade comfort food.
Also a good reprieve: a ridiculous call from your mother because she was screaming while a bat flew in circles around her head showing her its teeth. “It was flying around in circles and I was getting dizzy and almost fell over myself.” Love ya mom.